Surrendering Control

"You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day—unless you're too busy. Then you should sit for an hour."

This Zen proverb came to mind today after I joined a call hosted by my friend Jochen Raysz.

I almost didn’t go. I was busy, debating whether I could “afford” the time. But I’m so glad I did.

Jochen calls his offering The Refuge: A space to slow down, reconnect, and find inner clarity in a chaotic world. And that’s exactly what it was.

During the call, he invited us to reflect on:

What are we holding together?

Where are we striving?

What are we keeping at bay?

He reminded us that surrender, ease, and allowing are always available. He also mentioned The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer—a book that came into my life at a time when I was being thoroughly humbled by the universe.

A car accident.

A breakup.

Black mold in my basement.

A trusted boss resigning.

All in the same season.

At first, I was shocked into stillness. Then something shifted. My anxiety and striving dissolved, and I entered a state of deep allowing.

“Okay, Universe. You win. Show me the path. I’m listening.”

I could’ve built a case for why all of this was happening to me. But instead, I asked:

-How might this be happening for me?

-What am I being invited to learn?

It reminds me of something my improv teacher, Pam Victor, once shared: a friend of hers broke his leg while dancing and responded with, “Well, that happened.”

Not denial. Not despair. Just acceptance.

In improv, we call this “yes, and”—saying yes to what’s true and choosing to build from there.

I’ve found this mindset to be one of the most powerful tools for navigating life’s curveballs.

Given the reality of this moment, how can I move forward with the most joy and ease possible?

It’s not always easy. But it is available.