Permission To Be Weird

I’m a proud, self-proclaimed weirdo. An oddball. A rebel. An outlier. It’s been a 10-year journey of me claiming this and living into it more and more and more. In my younger years I would have cringed to be called a “weirdo” by myself or anyone else. Now, I would cringe to be called “normal”. Now, I believe that it is in our weirdness that our authenticity and our uniqueness lies. 

“In times such as these, with the world crumbling all around us, why the heck are you talking about authenticity and weirdness?” you might demand.

Ever since my spiritual awakening in 2018, I have felt the disconnect of seeing the world differently than those around me. And this disconnect has become even more pronounced over the past weeks and months. 

I am observing in those around me a massive amount of fear, overwhelm, anxiety, panic, urgency, despondency, grief, anger, and more. These feelings are valid and completely understandable. We are living through a time of collective trauma, rapid change, and great uncertainty. It can feel like there are threats coming at us from all sides, all day, every day. 

Our nervous systems are flooded and strained to the max by remaining in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn state for a sustained amount of time. When we are in these states, it means we are outside of our “window of tolerance”. We may be experiencing insomnia, depression, numbness, dissociation, hypervigilance, excessive worry, digestive issues, irritability, muscle tension, and more. 

This is natural. This is a protective response. The lizard part of our brain (i.e. the one that developed earliest, before our higher level reasoning centers) has one function–to scan the environment for threats and to respond in the way that is most likely to keep us alive. So in the digital age where we are constantly bombarded with notifications, (mis)information, and a never-ending flood of stories from around the globe of terror and danger, our poor little lizard brains are in hyperdrive. 

Instead of being able to activate the protective response for a short time, escape the threat, and return to the “rest and digest” state, we are ping-ponging between hyperarousal (fight/flight/anxiety/anger) and hypoarousal (freeze/fawn/numbness/depression/complacency). The thing about staying stuck in these states for extended periods of time is that we end up experiencing chronic stress which–when it goes on long enough–manifests as illness, disease, and pain in the body. 

So the real question on my mind these days is how can more and more of us opt out of this predictable pathway of STIMULUS-RESPONSE-RESULT where the STIMULUS is another executive order or extreme weather event, the RESPONSE is ruminating, spiraling and catastrophizing, and the RESULT is an increasingly immobilized and sick population? 

This is why I’m feeling my weirdo-ness extra strongly right now. Because I refuse to allow myself to get swept away by my protective responses. I have chosen a different RESPONSE to the STIMULUS which is creating a different RESULT for me. Firstly, I’m limiting my exposure to the stimuli. I’m in control of how often and for how long I engage with the news. When I do seek it out, instead of ruminating or believing worst case scenarios, I let myself feel the fear that pops up, I give myself the comfort I need to come back to a regulated state, and then I take calm, clear-headed action. 

These are skills that I’ve learned over the past several years from working with a Somatic Nervous System Coach, building my mental fitness using the Positive Intelligence method (which I’m now certified in), completing a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program, and navigating the chronic illness that comes from ignoring this dysregulation for long enough.

If this is something that you want to know more about, I encourage you to check out this free meditation by the incredible Tara Brach to help you feel your feels. Or if you want to go deeper with me and have an experience of what it would look like to have support in building your own resilience, I invite you to book a coaching call with me as my gift.

It’s not easy to be the oddball in the room, but funnily enough, my experience is that when I’m at my weirdest (read: most authentic) that’s actually when I have the greatest impact on others and when I feel the most grounded, most powerful, and most vibrant. 

So I’ll leave you with these questions: What weirdness would you like to express more fully? And how can you give yourself permission to do so?