How We Get Out Of Alignment With Our Truth

At our core, each of us has a deep, inner knowing — a quiet voice that guides us toward what feels right, nourishing, and true. Yet many of us find ourselves disconnected from that knowing, stuck in patterns that leave us exhausted, resentful, and uncertain. How does this happen? How do we lose touch with our truth?

It’s not a personal failing. It’s a natural response to the world we live in — shaped by systems like capitalism and patriarchy that condition us to abandon ourselves. Here’s how it unfolds:

1. We Forget How to Listen to Ourselves

Listening to ourselves requires slowing down, feeling into our bodies, and connecting with that quiet voice beyond words. But from an early age, many of us were taught not to trust our own experiences.

We were told "you're okay" when we were crying in distress. We were forced to go to school even when our bodies were sick and needed rest. We learned that being seen and heard wasn’t safe — that it was better to suppress our feelings to keep the peace.

These messages didn’t arise in a vacuum. They are rooted in systems that prize productivity over well-being, compliance over authenticity — capitalism and patriarchy. These systems teach us to override our inner signals in favor of external approval, achievement, and fitting in.

2. We Put Everyone Else’s Needs Ahead of Ours

When we internalize the idea that others' needs are more important than our own, we become experts at keeping our commitments to others — even when it means abandoning ourselves.

We stretch ourselves too thin at work, volunteer for extra tasks, say "yes" when we mean "no," and feel responsible for other people's feelings and comfort. We fear that if we are not endlessly useful, we will be rejected, isolated, unloved.

This instinct is tied to a primal human need for belonging — and once again, capitalism and patriarchy exploit that need. They teach us that our worth is tied to our utility: how much we produce, how much we care for others, how little we ask for ourselves.

3. We Forget That We Matter, Too

When our physical and emotional needs weren't honored in childhood, we learned a painful lesson: our needs don’t matter. Over time, we stopped even recognizing what those needs were.

As adults, this shows up as difficulty setting boundaries, chronic overgiving, and confusion about what we truly want or need. We may feel guilty for prioritizing ourselves or worry that doing so makes us selfish.

Again, this is not a personal defect. It’s the impact of living in systems that treat human beings as resources to be exploited — capitalism and patriarchy — rather than as whole, worthy beings deserving of care.

4. We Stop Trusting Ourselves

When we consistently abandon ourselves, it’s only natural that our self-trust erodes. If we can’t count on ourselves to listen, protect, and care for our own needs, anxiety and fear take root.

We stop taking risks. We isolate because connection feels too vulnerable, too risky. We second-guess ourselves endlessly. We get stuck in paralysis. We feel depressed, not because we are broken, but because we have been cut off from our own source of wisdom and vitality.

And once again, the systems we live in benefit from our disconnection. A person who doubts themselves is easier to control, easier to sell to, easier to shame into compliance.

Reclaiming alignment with our truth is not a one-time act — it’s a lifelong practice. It requires unlearning, healing, and returning to ourselves again and again with tenderness and courage.

It’s not easy, but it’s revolutionary. Every time we choose to slow down, to listen to our bodies, to honor our needs, and to trust ourselves, we chip away at the systems that taught us to abandon ourselves in the first place. We come home to ourselves. And that is powerful beyond measure.